Dr. Marva Robinson, a St. Louis clinical psychologist, says it is common for people to feel stress when navigating relationships with family and friends of different political leanings. But she acknowledges that the stress is especially during the holiday season.
“Things have become more divisive, where people are digging their heels in a bit more,” she said.
Robinson has also observed more people “taking ownership of their right to have peace.” That peace can manifest in a person creating and maintaining boundaries, such as setting a time limit on how long they’ll stay at a holiday party or even avoiding the family function altogether.
“I think people are taking ownership of their right to have peace and what that protection of peace looks like,” she said. “You can tell yourself, ‘I have the right to feel good in the environment I'm in. I have a right to feel respected. I have a right to feel listened to.’ And if you know without a shadow of a doubt that that will not occur, then making alternative plans is okay for you.”
However, Robinson cautioned that prejudging a potential social gathering can be taken too far.
“If you make assumptions about what will happen, then you will walk into that environment through that mental filter, and you'll look for those things that are called confirmatory bias. You'll look for things [to] say, ‘See, I knew it,’” she said. “So you want to take some deep breaths, think about the things that you're looking forward to, and see if you can find those positive spots and not walk into it with a negative view.”
On Tuesday’s St. Louis on the Air, Robinson shared practical tips for navigating complex family dynamics and divisive topics that may come up during gatherings this holiday season. Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or click the play button below.
“St. Louis on the Air” brings you the stories of St. Louis and the people who live, work and create in our region. The show is produced by Miya Norfleet, Emily Woodbury, Danny Wicentowski, Elaine Cha and Alex Heuer. Darrious Varner is our production assistant. The audio engineer is Aaron Doerr.
