This article first appeared in the St. Louis Beacon, Sept. 8, 2011 - For college student Ryan Schuessler who was a fourth-grader on Sept. 11, 2001, that day is a collection of odd memories with few specific recollections about the historic event itself.
Schuessler, then a student at Keysor Elementary School in Kirkwood, remembers his teacher playing the song "I'm Proud to Be An American" and handing out American flag cookies. He recalls a woman he didn't know hugging him and his mother.
"God bless you," the woman told them.
Schuessler, now a journalism student at the University of Missouri-Columbia, wishes that he remembered more about that day 10 years ago when terrorists hijacked four airliners and attacked the U.S. He does have one keepsake: a letter on White House stationery dated Sept 12, 2001, that was sent by First Lady Laura Bush to the schoolchildren of America.
"The feelings and thoughts that surround this tragedy are as plentiful as they are conflicting. I want to reassure you that there are many people -- including your family, your teachers and your school counselors -- who are there to listen to you,'' wrote the first lady. "September 11 changed our world. But with each story of sorrow and pain comes one of hope and courage. As we move forward, all of us have an opportunity to become better people and to learn valuable lessons about heroism, love and compassion.''
Schuessler remembers that in the weeks following 9/11, the parents of a girl in his class came to talk about what Islam is.
"I don't remember what they said, but I remember it happening,'' said Schuessler, who was a summer intern for the Beacon. "It was also the first time I had heard the word 'Muslim' in my life, and from the rest of my life experiences, I think the same can be said for a lot of Americans, too."
Now There Are Cell Phones
Bryan Painter, who is still the principal at Schuessler's grade school, remembers Sept. 11 as a difficult day because of concerns not only for the children but for the teachers and staff members who might have friends or family affected by the attacks. Painter, who had moved to Kirkwood in 1999 from New York, had been the assistant principal of a Brooklyn public school and used to see the twin towers every day as he walked to work.
Painter said he and the teachers didn't believe it was the school's responsibility to break the news of the attacks to children so young; the oldest students at Keysor are fifth-graders and just 10 years old.
"That was a conversation that we felt was best to happen at home,'' he said. "We tried our best with the kids to go about business as usual.''
Although TVs were kept on in the school office to keep the staff informed, they were turned off throughout the school to protect children from seeing a glimpse of something that would scare them.
"We tried to make it so they didn't have to deal with very much," Painter said. "Their job was to be a kid."
For Children Too Young to Remember
Bryan Painter, the principal of Keysor Elementary School in Kirkwood, has suggested to his teachers that they view a special done by Linda Ellerbee of Nick News that is targeted at children too young to know what happened on Sept. 11.
Painter likes the 22-minute presentation, which can be viewed online, because it recognizes that children have many questions and misconceptions. The video explains the terror attacks matter-of-factly but does not include the more shocking images from the day. Painter is also encouraging his teachers to speak with children who are curious about the historic event.
Click to see "What Happened? The Story of September 11, 2001."
In his files, Painter has kept the remarks he made to a school assembly held on Sept. 14, 2001, a national day of prayer and remembrance for the victims. He said he tried to word it carefully knowing that he was walking a fine line in discussing the attacks.
"You want the kids to understand the gravity, but you didn't want them to be scared," he said.
Ten years later, Painter said he and the teachers are grappling with how to handle the anniversary. He thinks the school will probably have a moment of silence on Monday, the day after, keeping in mind that most of the children were born after the terror attacks and have limited knowledge about what happened.
"We will probably say something on Monday morning, probably have a moment of silence,'' he said. He knows that no matter what the school ends up doing, it will be difficult to please everyone.
"Some people will be mad if we don't do more, and others will be mad if we do it at all,'' he said.
Although Painter was able to control the flow of information 10 years ago, he doubts that it would be possible in today's world because so many children now have cell phones.
Even though students are not allowed to use their phones at school he would worry that they might receive text messages.
"Good or bad, it's much harder to keep information from kids now than it was then,'' Painter said.
Childhood Memories of 9/11
In the days and weeks following Sept. 11, many worried about the psychological effects on the nation's young children. We asked the St. Louis Beacon's summer interns, who were in grade school in 2001, to write about their memories of 9/11:
Here are excerpts from their essays:
Jonathan Ernst of St. Louis was 12 on Sept. 11. He is now a student of media and science at Saint Louis University, where he is editor-in-chief of the student newspaper:
After our morning announcements, my sixth-grade science teacher ran into our homeroom and yelled that a plane had hit the World Trade Center. This instantly caused a panic. I couldn't remember if the Trade Center was in Boston or New York. I had never been to the East Coast and I had never been on a plane so this seemed like a world away to me at first. Without thinking, my homeroom teacher tried to turn on the 20-inch rolling TV that we had in our classroom. The picture was dark and the signal was fading in and out. When I finally saw a clear picture I witnessed the building collapsing. I watched as America's greatest city fell before my eyes.
My teacher quickly turned off the TV and asked everyone to go back to work on our math problems. I didn't understand how I was to think after seeing a national tragedy and all I could think about was my family. I felt my knees shake. I had no idea what had happened to those buildings, and this made it 10 times more dramatic for me.
My school day went on after a few hours, and the principal made an announcement, as worried parents pulled their kids from school. I stayed until 3 p.m. like I always did, and I was very anxious to get home. When I got off the bus, I couldn't wait to hug my mom and ask her to make sense of it all. She had been watching the replays of the planes hitting the towers and the buildings collapsing. She said she could not turn away. I had never been so shocked in my life, and from that point on, the world wasn't quite the friendly place that I remembered in my early years. I realized that America isn't immune to attacks, and we aren't as safe as we always feel.
Abby Spudich of Edwardsville was 9 on Sept. 11; she is a journalism student at Mizzou:
I found out about the terrorist attacks on the playground before classes started from my cousin, who is only six weeks younger than me. She told me that someone flew a plane into a building.
"Why would someone fly a plane into a building?" I thought. I assumed it was an accident. I didn't know what terrorism was. I don't believe I had heard that term before.
My mother, in the get-the-kids-to-school chaos, had not seen the news until my brother and I had been fed, showered, dressed and schlepped off to [school]. After my mother turned on the TV, she frantically called the school and asked if she should take us home. She was assured that the children were very safe and there was no reason to pull us out of school, although some parents had decided to keep their kids at home. I remember being upset that I didn't get to miss school for the terrorist attacks, mostly because I wanted to play hooky but also because I had heard some of the other kids saying that the terrorists could attack our school.
After we said the Pledge [of Allegiance] there was an announcement over the intercom explaining what had happened and telling us we were safe. And then we had a moment of silence. My teacher explained it in more detail to us and asked us if we needed to talk about it. I don't remember anyone crying, or anyone saying anything really.
Later I would come home to see my mother crying, to watch the twin towers burning on TV, to have my parents try to explain to me and my 7-year-old brother what it meant. I don't think I was ever really able to fathom what happened that day.
After the shock wore off, the confusion remained. I remember asking my mom if we knew anyone who worked at the World Trade Center. She said we didn't. I still didn't understand why it happened. The reason that the people responsible for this hated our Western ways just seemed, well, foreign to me. I remember being scared, but what I remember most is wondering, "Why?"
Since 2001, I've seen the World Trade Center topple, I've seen people drowning in the streets of New Orleans, cutting holes in the roofs of their houses and starving in the Superdome. I survived the avian flu, swine flu, Snowpocalypse and two pseudo-apocalypses. I've witnessed more government officials involved in sex scandals than I care to count. I've experienced the economy tank, learned about global warming, watched our government on the brink of shutdown, and watched a madman [in Norway] gun down 76 people -- many around my age -- in what's supposed to be one of the most peaceful places in the world.
Maybe my generation is apathetic, but when past generations were marching on the capital for civil rights or women's rights, the problems were different. Maybe we could have higher voter participation and be more active in politics, but most of the time our enemy isn't The Man or our government. We struggle with terrorism, Mother Nature -- faceless enemies we don't feel empowered to defeat. Maybe apathetic is the right word, but it isn't really that simple.
Allison Prang of Chicago, a student at the University of Missouri, was in the fourth grade. She remembers waking up and getting ready for school, just like any other day:
But when I came downstairs, my mom was just staring at the TV, looking shocked. She was talking to different family members on the phone about what had happened as we were waiting to get out the door.
I remember going to my classroom and listening to the other kids talk about what had happened. I had absolutely no idea. I got responses from people like "What do you mean you don't know what happened?" Then, my teacher turned on the TV, and we watched the news showing one of the towers continue burning. The morning announcements came on and after the Pledge of Allegiance we had a moment of silence for the people who had just been killed.
I remember these moments as times in my life where I truly felt connected to my country and learned what it meant to be a citizen of a country so free.
Ray Carter of O'Fallon, Ill., majors in professional writing at Indiana's Purdue University; he was a seventh-grader on Sept. 11:
I lived in South Bend, Ind., and remember waiting to go to mass right after biology period. While my group worked on a generic project, [my teacher] turned on the "Today" show. At first, I thought it was a movie review.
One of my lab partners turned to me and said, "Is that the new 'Armageddon' movie with Bruce Willis?"
In our group, a boy yelled, "If that is, then I'd sure like to see that movie. The special effects are awesome!"
I turned my head to our teacher who was staring blankly toward the screen. "This isn't a movie, this is real life," she said.
She switched to "The Early Show" with Bryant Gumbel, and I remember him letting out a gasp when he said the second tower had been hit. I remember thinking to myself, "This can't be real."
I remember the fear. We were under attack. It was a feeling that I hope Americans never have again. I remember the anchors stating that they knew planes were in the air but didn't know where they were. Fear started to turn into panic for some of us, as the screen pictured national monuments such as the Arch, Space Needle, and Hoover Dam as potential targets. We decided to switch to WLS-TV in Chicago, just 90 miles west of us, and people were running and screaming from the Sears Tower. One girl was scared, because her uncle worked in the tower.
I remember watching the coverage and, as cliche as it sounds, that's when I knew I would like to be a journalist one day.
