This article first appeared in the St. Louis Beacon, Dec. 13, 2012 - There are missing pieces for Mariam Thiam-Hill, and there are whole, filled spaces.
The missing ones come from her father, originally from Senegal, mentally ill, often homeless and not able to be part of her life for most of her life.
The whole ones come from her husband, father to his daughter, now 12, and the two daughters the couple have together, Ziati, 2, and Aminata, just 6 weeks.
Jabir Hill works three jobs, his wife says, “and then comes in and takes care of his girls. He’s so proud of his girls.”
Aminata wasn’t yet born when Thiam-Hill came across the work of artist Cbabi Bayoc on Facebook. The Chicago woman was moved by each piece each day showing images of black fathers and grandfathers and their children, and followed along until a sorority sister in Long Island messaged that she was buying a piece. Thiam-Hill decided to do so as well, honoring her husband and the man who is the kind father she never had.
She sent several photos of her husband, step-daughter and daughter. She made sure to send photos where her husband was smiling, not smirking, which is his usual style. Still, somehow the image that comes out on day 192 shows Hill, his two girls, and that smirk.
“That’s actually how he smiles. Exactly,” she says. “That’s what he’s known for.”
The St. Louis artist she’s never met and found on Facebook captured her husband perfectly, and the spirit of him as well.
In the piece, Hill’s holding his two older daughters, his locks falling onto a green T-shirt with a yellow sun-like symbol on the front. The adinkra symbol from West Africa means guardianship, and it was again another fitting touch by the artist.
Hill doesn’t actually have a shirt like that.
But, Thiam-Hill says, “if that shirt existed, he would have it.”
Marrying a good man, a good father, a hard worker hasn’t filled the empty spaces Thiam-Hill has, leftover from so little known about her father and her own history.
She doesn’t expect it to.
Instead, it’s created something new, fulfilled something else, and, she hopes, will help their children grow up without missing pieces, at least not from their parents.
As for the questions about her father, where he’s from in Senegal, who her family is there, Thiam-Hill’s still asking questions and seeking answers. She hopes, someday, to go to Senegal.
And when she does, she knows her guardian will be right there with her.