This article first appeared in the St. Louis Beacon, Nov. 25, 2010 - What better time to put the heat on turkeys than Thanksgiving? With so many deserving candidates and limited space in the oven, let's get right down to business:
City Hall That sporting crew at 1200 Market is dead-set and determined to wrest control of the St. Louis Police Department from the state-appointed Board of Police Commissioners. Although no one can cite a single law enforcement initiative that has ever been thwarted by the present nonpartisan arrangement, the local pols are confident they can do a better job. Many are even able to keep a straight face when they assure people that their initiative has nothing -- nothing, I say -- to do with the $650 million that the police pension fund has accumulated over the years from officer payroll contributions.
As a retired city cop, I've always believed we should keep politics as far removed from law enforcement as possible. I'm also uncomfortable with politicians gaining access to the cash we paid into the pension fund. On the other hand, because the police force is the largest single item in the city budget, a reasonable argument could be made that the city needed to manage its own finances.
At first blush, that position seemed to make some sense. At least it did until last week when it was announced that the city-controlled fire department had accidentally spent $3 million more than its annual budget allowed. No one's quite sure how that happened or how we'll pay the tab. Meanwhile the police department, administered independently of City Hall, came in $2 million under budget and returned that sum to city coffers.
Free advice to turkeys in the vicinity of Market and Tucker: lay low until this Thanksgiving dinner craze blows over ...
Rex Sinquefeld While vehemently denying that he is a billionaire, rich-guy Rex Sinquefeld contributed more than $11 million of his own money to support the passage of Proposition A. That measure outlaws earnings taxes in Missouri cities that don't presently have them and requires citizens in cities that do to vote on their retention every five years.
These taxes fund most public safety operations in St. Louis and Kansas City. Though he offers no feasible suggestion about how to replace the revenue they bring in, Mr. Sinquefeld reportedly feels that earnings taxes make these municipalities unattractive places in which to live and work.
As a fellow non-billionaire, I'd like to ask Rex a question: If the earnings tax is such a daunting detraction, why did you move your Show-me Institute into the only city in the eastern half of the state that has one?
Free advice to tax gobblers everywhere: beware of geeks bearing broiling pans...
Jeremiah "Silent Jay" Nixon The nominal head of Missouri Democrats, Gov. Jay Nixon, apparently decided to take a powder during the recently concluded off-year election campaigns.
While Robin Carnahan lost a bid for the U.S. Senate, Susan Montee lost her office as state auditor, Ike Skelton lost his long-held congressional seat and Republicans gained prohibitive majorities in both houses of the state legislature, the Gov was by and large conspicuous by his absence on the stump.
As the dust from the political holocaust settled last week, Mr. Nixon emerged from the bunker to go hunting. Perhaps with an eye toward the NRA vote, he shot a deer. He then burnished his credentials as a socially conscious liberal by donating his kill to Share the Harvest, a non-profit that distributes game meat to needy families.
Free advice to benevolent hunters throughout the region: be sure to tell the economically disadvantaged to be careful not to burn themselves while cooking their venison because after the job Jeff City did on the Medicaid budget last year, they won't be seeing a doctor anytime soon ...
Don Carey The most recent clash between the archrival Rams and 49ers took place in San Francisco and was decided by a controversial penalty late in the game. That call was made by back judge Don Carey (no known relation to Don Denkinger).
With just more than 11 minutes left in overtime, Niners' QB Troy Smith dropped back to pass on 3rd down. He was hit as he threw by DE Chris Long, who knocked Smith's throw badly off-target. That should have brought up a punting situation but Carey saved the day for the home team by flagging Rams' safety O.J. Atogwe for pass interference. The penalty put the 49ers in range for an easy field goal, which they ultimately kicked, thus winning the sudden-death contest 23-20.
Replays clearly showed that the pass was not catchable, that Niner receiver Delanie Walker had held Atogwe earlier in the play and that it was Walker who ran into Atogwe while attempting to adjust to the altered trajectory of the ball. Protests, however, fell on deaf ears as Carey determined the outcome of the game by penalizing Atogwe for being a 3-dimensional object in the field of play.
The interference call against him was only the fourth in Atogwe's six-year career. Carey's online bio lists his off-season occupation as "contract manager."
Free advice to game officials who cause me to vituperate, gesticulate, salivate and nearly spill my drink: don't quit your day job. And if there's any fine print in these contracts you manage, for godsakes hire a proof-reader because you're obviously blind as a bat...
Lest I dampen the reader's spirits on what should be a festive holiday weekend, allow me to conclude with a toast:
Stan the Man Last Sunday, St. Louis Cardinals' icon Stan Musial turned 90. A few days earlier, he was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom. This man's presence, both on and off the field, has always been the personification of talent and grace.
Personal aside to a legend of the game from a writer he's never heard of: Sorry about that goofy-looking statue of you we put in front of stadium. We had good intentions, but you know how those can turn out. Bad sculpture notwithstanding, please accept our most sincere congratulations on your prestigious award. Mr. Musial, this Bud's for you...
Happy Thanksgiving, everybody.
M.W.Guzy is a retired St. Louis cop who currently works for the city Sheriff's Department. His column appears weekly in the Beacon.