This article first appeared in the St. Louis Beacon June 17, 2013: Tossing a high school graduation cap into the air typically signals the launch of a bigger life. But for many young adults with autism, summer after senior year is when the world begins to narrow.
Lacking the structure high school provides, they too often fall into isolation. Too much unscheduled time can produce anxiety, leading to reclusive routines, according to Sharon Spurlock, who’s worked with people with developmental disabilities for more than 30 years.
“When you get into a habit of sleeping until noon and playing video games for two and three hours at a time, you get into a rut -- and it’s really hard to get out of it,” Spurlock said.
A new study released by Washington University’s Brown School of Social Work documents the loneliness experienced by many young people on the autism scale. According to the research, nearly 40 percent never hang out with friends, 50 percent never receive phone calls or invitations, and 28 percent have no social contact at all.
These young people don’t want to be alone. The study references previous data showing a strong wish to make and keep friends, contradicting widely held beliefs.
“It’s a misnomer that people with autism don’t want emotional connection,” Spurlock said. “The reality is they have a tremendous amount of desire for that even if their expressions don’t show it.”
‘Some positive outcomes’
Young adults with autism fare worse socially than those with intellectual disabilities or severe mental illness, according to Paul Shattuck, who participated in the study and leads the Brown School’s research into young people with autism.
“Kind of depressing” was his reaction to the greater difficulty of the target group. But there’s a silver lining, Shattuck said.
“We see some positive outcomes even among those most severely affected with autism and language impairments,” Shattuck said. “We need to do a better job of decoding what’s working in those cases."
Figuring out how to help young adults with autism make and keep friends is a big part of Spurlock’s job with St. Louis Arc which supports people with developmental disabilities. Her “20 Somethings” group for those with Asperger’s Syndrome and others with similar, high-functioning diagnoses enjoys a new activity each month: game night, bowling, ugly-sweater Christmas party. Twenty-something Arc employees, and others who don’t have a diagnosis but can relate to the age group, often join in.
But the gatherings aren't an end unto themselves
“Part of out goal is for them to make friendships outside the group activity,” Spurlock said. “Quite a few of them have Facebook-friended each other and exchanged phone numbers.”
Bonding over The Bard
“Friendship is constant in all things,” Shakespeare wrote in “Much Ado About Nothing.” This month, Shakespeare was the focus as the “20 Somethings” met to forge bonds with other young adults.
A Friday night outing to see “Twelfth Night” drew a dozen participants who met on the steps of the Saint Louis Art Museum. It was the first such event for Andrea Dent, 21, a Webster High School graduate with Asperger’s.
“My mother signed me up; I really didn’t know what it was about,” she said.
Her mother, Laurie Dent, said Andrea has one friend, and spends a lot of time online. Dent wants her daughter to become more independent, to act on her desire to go to art school. As the mother of an older daughter with severe autism but a big social life, Dent knows Andrea is aware of her own difficulties in a way her other daughter is not.
“Andrea’s more like, ‘Why don’t I fit in? What’s stopping me from doing that?’” Dent said.
The Shakespeare Festival event was the second “20 Something” gathering for Barret Bubenik, 20, diagnosed with PDD-NOS on the autism scale. Until a year ago, Bubenik mostly socialized through sports and theater at Lindbergh High School. Now he works at a Lowe’s garden center and is learning to play golf.
Although he would like to meet young women for romantic purposes, he mostly wants to make new friends. The list of qualities he seeks in a friend zeroes in on character.
“They should be trustworthy, nice, helpful and always be reliable,” Bubenik said. “And we should have a common interest.”
Spurlock agreed that shared activities are the best way to form friendships.
“I recently told a young man who loves musical theater that he should be able to find plenty of people who share that same interest,” Spurlock said.
Shared passions promote connection whether or not someone is on the autism scale.
“If you move to a new town, you go to a church where you have common interest or you join a knitting group,” Spurlock said. “The core elements are the same if you are a person with a disability. It’s the human condition.”
Further Resources
Autism Speaks organization defines Autism Spectrum Disorder
“20 Somethings” group for young adults with Asperger’s and high-functioning autism
