This article first appeared in the St. Louis Beacon, Nov. 12, 2010 - It has been so long that I don't really remember when I started making a habit of sending thank you notes to people. In some ways it's a little ironic that I am so zealous about them as an adult because as a kid I was notoriously bad about sending thank you notes for birthday and Christmas gifts.
Thank you notes serve an important role in my work, and I encourage others to adopt the practice.
Of course the most obvious reason to send a thank you note is that it is simply good manners. When someone helps you on a project or purchases your product or supports your cause, they are often doing something they probably weren't required to do. Saying thank you is just the right thing to do and people will appreciate that you have the manners to say thanks. It leaves the receiver with a good impression of you, and the next time you need their help or want their business they are much more likely to remember you and help again.
People who receive my notes frequently tell me later how much they appreciated the thought. This confirms my notion that thank you cards make you memorable. Even if everyone in St. Louis read this blog, only a few people will take the extra step of adopting the practice of sending thank you notes regularly. People who send thank you notes stand out from the crowd because it is commonly understood that sending a note in the mail takes an extra effort.
Using thank you notes gives you bonus time with the receiver. Hand written notes stand out among all the junk mail. Reading a note involves several steps that will help you stay on the minds of the people to whom you send them. By their very nature, thank you notes require physical handling. The receiver gets the mail, finds your note, examines the envelope, sees your name on the return address and is immediately reminded of whatever it was that brought you together.
Upon opening the envelope, the receiver may be pleased by the image on the card or you may take this opportunity to thank them right away by using an actual thank you card with the expression of thanks printed across the front. Personally, I like using note cards that have some artistic quality to them. For the past few years, I have been using blank cards made by the young people in an arts program called St. Louis ArtWorks. These multifunctional cards support a charity I like, provide me the cards I need and give the receiver a warm fuzzy upon reading explanation on the back of the card Since the art is created by youth, the issue of artistic taste and/or offense is eliminated.
Just the fact that the card is hand written helps you build a connection. It is extremely personal and has nothing to do with the usual trappings of our technological era. Handwriting is a lost art, practice it and use a good pen. I always make a point of writing out what I want to say on a piece of paper and then write the actual card. Not having any mistakes is preferred, but if you do make a mistake just do your best to fix it (especially if you're short on cards). Even a mistake can be part of the charm.
In my book, there is no comparison between an emailed thank you note and one sent through the mail. They are NOT the same thing. Since so many of us have developed a love/hate relationship with email, for me, it is not the best way to say thank you. It can certainly work under some circumstances such as a friend or colleague with whom you have frequent or regular contact; in that case regularly mailing cars may be seen as a little over the top. But in most cases mailing a thank you note is appropriate and special. It is also less likely that the card will be overlooked, whereas an email can be easily ignored and then forgotten. Even something as small as your choice of stamps can help your card standout.
To help make it regular practice, I encourage you to gather all your supplies and keep then in your desk drawer. Buy a supply of cards and stamps you like and keep your favorite type of pen with the cards. The whole idea of making this a regular practice will only work if you make it easy on yourself; of course you're not going to use thank you cards if you have to go to a store every single time.
I hope you try it. All of us have sent a card to someone at some point, but making it regular practice is different. It reminds you how important it is to thank the people who make an effort to help you. And don't think people don't talk about you. They will. And when they do, you should hope they're saying how thoughtful you are, not what a thankless louse you are.