Online Dating: Asian Women Preferred

By NPR Staff

Published November 13, 2013 at 10:56 AM CST

Race influences most people's online dating preferences.

When it comes to dating the rules aren't always black and white. And when you add race into the equation things can become even more complicated.

The online dating website "Are You Interested" analyzed over 2.4 million interactions on their site and found that Asian women are more likely to get a message from a man of any race—unless those men are Asian.

AYI also found that white men are pursued the most by women of all races—except black women, who are least likely to get a message from anyone.

"I think it's very disheartening for African-American women" said Beauty Shop guest and The Root.com contributing editor Demetria Lucas. "It's always the same result and it's always about how no one's reaching out for black women. It can get very depressing for someone who is looking for love."

Demetria Lucas joined NPR's Michel Martin in the Beauty Shop along with Anne Ishii, editor-in-chief of the race and dating forum "They're All So Beautiful"; Deonna Kelli Sayed, editor of LoveInshallah.com; and XOJane.com contributor Veronica Miller. They discussed their own online dating love lives and how attitudes towards race have colored their experiences.

Interview Highlights

Anne Ishii

The old school mentality is that, we absolutely represent some sort of unique ideal. Even if it's just that subconscious level, there's this idea of the Geisha or concubine, or you know like a submissive wife...The unfortunate thing is that Asian-American women have to prove themselves against that stereotype by outperforming.. It just makes it really difficult for us to be ourselves.

I personally get a lot of 'Ni-Hao's' and sort of Chinese-oriented things. And I don't know what's more offensive: That they've called me out for being Asian or the fact that I'm not Chinese.

Veronica Miller

I've found that I've sat across a man who's white or Latino and Asian, and I always get to the moment of the date where they're trying to prove how "down" they are. So they ask me questions like "Who's better, Tupac or Biggie?" And I'm always like, well I listened to Spice Girls when that happened so I don't really know.

Deonna Kelli Sayed

I'm a white woman but I'm Muslim and I've encountered some really interesting scenarios in the online dating world. I actually reached out to one guy. He was local and I just wanted to say Hello, what's up? He responded immediately saying, 'I've been to the Middle East and I really have zero interest in you because of your religion."